We played that glass bead game didn’t we ?

Carelessly throwing turtle shells into bonfires 

traveling roads that were cracked and dangerous.

I never in a million years thought it would come to this, where I prayed to the flurries    crushed diamonds with my bare hands    burned the effigy of moss and petulance.

We once believed love was silver and ancient as a hopi burial ground    we once made love under a blanket of crushed rose petals    we once saw music in stars and vapor.

To grow up this year was hard .  My skin is no longer soft.  Do you remember how the high desert looks in summer where the earth is cracked as a map of the rivers of the world might look ?  the confluence of tributary    the complexity of tides and currents.  

 Now.

 Everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same  as you stole the coral from my heart and gave it to       cannibals 

 you will never remember that I smell like vanilla and roses

 you will never remember how I softened your night terrors and lit your darkness.

 I am tired.