Venus conjuncts Pluto in Capricorn

Last night I dreamed I rode a child’s red bike up a suburban street where I came upon your

home.

The facade was faced in stone flanked by bright green walls the color of pistachio ice cream,

the entry was made of old redwood and there was a small bench with shoes nearby, a mat, a potted plant , leaded glass in the door.

 I did not ride by closely as I feared I would see you there.

 I would have to face you     see you     face your face again.

Several nights before this I dreamed we made love inside an oak tree

covered in shimmer( us ) as if we suddenly became moonlight.

            Three years have passed now come and gone . I had not dreamed of you in nearly a  year

        then

            here

                you 
                   are.

  this doorway

 that shimmering 

 your memory

 now
 all the  healing and moving forward has fallen behind

 I feel like I have to start over again

 find new pujas new trails/cells/language/ seed pod/ new skin and bone.

To have to continue to be this quiet about it all grows callous and impossible in my hands

my exiled heart longs for the dreaming

my blood craves new marrow my heart,  new meat&

salt.