cherry tree loving the blue sky above

Venus conjuncts Pluto in Capricorn

Last night I dreamed I rode a child’s red bike up a suburban street where I came upon your

home.

The facade was faced in stone flanked by bright green walls the color of pistachio ice cream,

the entry was made of old redwood and there was a small bench with shoes nearby, a mat, a potted plant , leaded glass in the door.

 I did not ride by closely as I feared I would see you there.

 I would have to face you     see you     face your face again.

Several nights before this I dreamed we made love inside an oak tree

covered in shimmer( us ) as if we suddenly became moonlight.

            Three years have passed now come and gone . I had not dreamed of you in nearly a  year

        then

            here

                you 
                   are.

  this doorway

 that shimmering 

 your memory

 now
 all the  healing and moving forward has fallen behind

 I feel like I have to start over again

 find new pujas new trails/cells/language/ seed pod/ new skin and bone.

To have to continue to be this quiet about it all grows callous and impossible in my hands

my exiled heart longs for the dreaming

my blood craves new marrow my heart,  new meat&

salt.

Jack Kerouac shooting pool (1967)

Venus enters Leo

Neptune Retrogrades. A minus Tide. Jupiter enters Taurus.

swimming

i sing my love and prayers to thee o constant o jewel o patient wonder

neptune in pisces. pluto in capricorn retrogrades

Venus conjuncts Neptune

You will never know how many times I called out to you baby in this deluge

I  did a beat  down  in the watershed

 I

 among the lichen 

 did puja    

 sustenance

           symbiosis

I  wrote your name on a piece of wakame I foraged from the San Andreas fault just before she breaks  open

I make shoes of wild nori

 I drink the tide and the seafoam as if it were a fine stout

 I will never stop loving no I never will  foolish as that may seem.

If we make our hearts hard against those who loved us we will die a dry abandoned cardboard  box  empty  &   ungrateful

How about these tides  
      ?   


      how about the birds now    quiet    as Spring arrives drowned in despair and astonishment .

  River. Swollen. Crested.

uranus ingress into aries, yo Jupiter!

American Prayer (Hour)

this leo moon illuminating a hard frost & softened heart

                                          

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible live in an elevator!

Chiron Enters Pisces

How will I ever settle down with the creek bed dry as a bone in February the

last gasp of

 trickle&splash.

 The river green and still as emeralds?

The winds arrive as if to ignite some ancient old bloody cut, you know, the one that never healed, you know, the one that festered for years, infected, pestered, itched.

 I would soothe myself in the falling water of the creek  

 filling it’s crevices and tangle of rotted oak and squirrel bones with my grandmother’s jewels and the discarded feathers of  Raven.

I offer this watershed my tenderness&wishful thinking 

  a   garland    of    carnelian      a    garland    of    sandalwood    beads 

  those waxy bags filled with opium poppy seeds that bloom the color of my blood and the 
  regal    purple    of    my    lineage. 

The winds arrive cranky and determined more fierce than my heart can bear
 more tenacious
    than   my    sorrow.

 True, 

 they will win our ongoing argument this time.

 True,

 I will run back to that burned out faery stand deep in the canyon.

 True ,

 there may be no water now.

venus in sagittarius

On each one of my fingertips I hold a lyric.

You.

You. 


 my Tempest,
 my Hell on earth,
 my Pomegranate,


my Popscicle. yep. my Lollipop. You know about this.

I saw the Raven pair capture Finch eggs and fly North.

I now realize that all life , Dies.

You, my Compost.  My mycelium. My Detritus. White Boy.

There now, quiet. 

There will be a sparking, the water will recede. ( i promise.)

Rosie and I took 14 Alder sticks, wrapped an Old Growth Redwood Stump

In SpanishMoss and wove in the flotsam and jetson of slash.

I took my veins and filled them with creek water. yup.